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A Good Laugh

Next time you have a bad day at work think of this guy.



Rob is a commercial saturation diver In Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station in Ft. Wayne who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest. Needless to say, she won.

Hi Sue,

Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job.

As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office; it's a wet suit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose.

Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my whole suit with warm water... It's like working in a Jacuzzi.

Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. With in a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened.

The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it... However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt.

I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically.

Needless to say I aborted the dive... I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression.

When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my
brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber.

The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my butt was swollen shut.

So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.

Now repeat to yourself, 'I love my job, I love my job, I love my job!

Now whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad day?

May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day!!!!!!!
Join Vemma!

PS. Thanks Rob for the great story!


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Sports Drink Electrolyte

Announcing a Painless Concoction To Conduct Electricity
Throughout The Body.


Whether you're deciding on which sports drink to purchase, or you're making a concoction of your own, you should be aware of the sports drink electrolyte balance that is necessary in order for the body to function at its best. Here is
some information about electrolytes, as well as some of the best foods and energy drinks to purchase to get the electrolyte balance you need.

Electrolytes actually have the ability to conduct electricity throughout the body. The substances, which are a certain group of minerals the body needs a healthy dose of, will become ions when they are placed in a solution, such as water or juice. The nervous system needs electric signals in order to function, which means the brain and muscles will not know how to react unless electrolytes are entering the body at the right proportions. This is why energy drinks are so popular, and why so many athletes rely on them for endurance and muscle strength. The right balance of electrolytes is needed for anyone, athlete or not, to ensure the proper functioning of organs and cells.

If you are consuming a sports drink electrolyte beverage on a regular basis, you will still need to make sure that you are eating foods that will encourage the balance in your body. Fruits like bananas and peaches have high amounts of potassium, and green leafy vegetables will also give you the amount of electrolytes you need if you consume them daily. Other electrolytes include sodium and chloride, and the body may have an overload of these due to the high salt content in some foods. Chloride is needed to ensure that the body's fluids are at the correct levels, and sodium regulates the body's water content.

If you think you may need a sports drink electrolyte balance in order to keep your body functioning healthily, you may want to visit your doctor to find out just how many energy drinks you should be consuming per day. An excess of electrolytes can cause just as many problems as a deficiency, so pay attention to your body's response to new vitamins or drinks. You may need to have a blood test done in order to determine which electrolytes you need more of, and you can most likely remedy this problem by a simple diet change, or be adjusting your exercise regimen to release more sodium from the body.

To learn what your body may thirst for in a sports drink electrolyte that is best for you, read this comparison chart where you'll find more information on Sports Drink Electrolyte and healthy hydration.

James McMullen
Vemma ID: #282135705
Vemma Brand Partner


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Nutrition Sports Drink

Healthy Energy Made Easy



If you drink sport drinks often, you should make sure that you are getting the right amount of nutrition for your body each day. While these drinks shouldn't take the place of food, a nutrition sport drinks, could help to give you the energy and restorative nutrients your body needs for superior physical and mental function.

You can create your own nutrition sport drinks, using some of the ingredients you already have in your kitchen. For instance, you can use bananas, oats, milk, and honey to create a smoothie that you can have for breakfast. Bananas contain potassium, which is instrumental in preventing injury to the body, and this mineral can also help to heal any bruises or sprains you get even faster.

Bananas are also a natural probiotic, which means the natural balance of 'good' bacteria can be restored in your digestive system quicker; this will give you more energy and improve your concentration. Oats contain iron and fiber, two very important ingredients needs for strong muscles and physical endurance; milk gives calcium which is needed to build the strength of your bones, and honey contains bee propolis, which coats the joints to prevent injury.

You can also add additional vitamins and minerals to your nutrition sport drinks,. For instance, many weight trainers and football players use creatine in their daily nutrition regimens, which is an amino acid that builds muscle mass. You can also purchase amino acid powder to add to your drink, as well as a multi-vitamin in powder form.

Your nutrition sport drinks, should be taken in between your workouts, or after you have exercised to help restore the body quickly. You may also want to use Vemma Thirst during your workout to restore your body's electrolytes and prevent muscle cramping. Poweraide beverages is kind of ideal, since they contain less sugar than sodas or processed fruit juices. You can also use these energy drinks if you are coming down with a cold or need to restore regularity in your body, since the electrolytes will help to get rid of impurities and strengthen the body's ability to fight off disease.

If you need more information on where to find the best nutrition sport drinks, look no further, it's right here! If want to find a few recipes for making your own juices and smoothies that will promote endurance, check out runnersworld.com for more information on performance-enhancing products, and visit mamashealth.com, and ivillage.com to find out more about healthy energy drink recipes, as well as which foods can help you to accomplish your long and short term fitness goals.

James McMullen
Vemma ID: #282135705
Vemma Brand Partner


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Sports Drink Performance And You

Whether you're preparing for a marathon or want to know how to have more energy for your regular workout regimen,you may be concerned about your sports drink performance. While you should choose an energy drink that has the nutrients that you need, there are several things you can do to make sure that your sport drink is giving you the results you need.

Your sports drink performance will be largely based on your diet and exercise habits, since the energy drinks contain electrolytes, which are ions that produce an electric charge in the body to alert the brain and nervous system of proper activity. So, if you want the drinks to work for you, you have to make sure that your diet has a balanced amount of potassium, and that you are eating foods that are low in sodium. Since potassium and sodium are electrolytes, you'll want the body to have balance amounts of these substances at all times.

The amount of activity you do per day will also have an affect on your sports drink performance. For instance, if you only work out on the weekends, it's best not to drink sport drinks too much during the week, since this can give your body an excess of sodium, chlorine, or potassium. When your body has too many electrolytes, it can be difficult for you to maintain your energy, and you may also experience adrenal problems. If you tend to sweat a lot during exercise, your sports drink performance should be intense;
perspiration means that sodium is being released from the body, so you will need to replenish your electrolyte balance during and after exercise.

You can also gauge your sports drink performance by how your muscles feel after working out. If you find that your joints are sore and your muscles are cramping after every workout, no matter how intense, you may need to either switch out your energy drinks, or drink water during your workouts for a few days. Electrolytes are supposed to reduce swelling and prevent bruising, so if your muscles feel especially tender, you may have an excess of potassium in
the system, or you may need a little more in order to build up your muscle strength.

For more tips on sports drink performance, or to find out which brands will work best for you, you can check out sites like gatorade.com to find out more about electrolyte balance, or accelerade.com to figure out what your carbohydrate intake should be when you're consuming energy drinks. You can also see a Comparison Chart on sport drinks right here right now!

James McMullen
Vemma ID: #282135705
Vemma Brand Partner


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Creating A Energy Sports Drink Of Your Own

Finding the right energy sports drink can be a bit of a challenge if you have a specific body goal in mind. Here are some tips for creating a energy sports drink of your own, as well as the link to some resources that will give you the energy drink you need at prices you can afford.

Natural fruit juices without the added sugar can serve as an energy sports drink in some cases. If you have a juicer, you can use apple and grapes juices to boost your immune system and eliminate toxins from the body. And, when your digestive system is cleansed, you will automatically have more energy and endurance, whether you're playing sports or working at the office.

You may also want to try vegetable juice in order to restore the body's natural balance of electrolytes. Carrot and celery juices will give the body potassium, as will cabbage and spinach juices. Vitamin A is also present in these vegetables, which helps to keep the skin healthy and strengthen the immune system.

Another way to create a great energy sports drink is to use vitamin powder and amino acids. Amino acids are the acids needed to restore the body's energy and endurance, and many amino acids will help to regulate the mood and brain function, so that you can ward off sluggishness and depression. You can find amino acid powders at your local GNC or Vitamin Shoppe, or you can take the amino acids in capsule form with your meals in order to enhance the work of your energy sports drink. Adding your own ingredients to the powder, such as milk (you can use rice or soy milk as well), pureed fruit, and additional vitamins will also help you to create a balanced meal for yourself, and will give you energy and improved concentration throughout the day.

You can find a number of these not so healthy energy sports drink varieties at your local grocery store as well. Gatorade has a number of flavors to choose form, and Propel fitness water is a great buy as well, since it is more water-based and is safer for everyday use. You can also purchase Powerade varieties at your local grocery store; these cheap energy sport drinks are some what ideal for sporting events that may take place outdoors or in warm weather.

A brand new and very exciting energy energy sports drink is called Verve and Thirst by Vemma Nutrition Company. Professional and amateur athletes praise the benefits of these energy sports drinks as well. They realize the products helps them perform better, less downtime, recovery, stay healthy and overall just help them improve their motivation and well-being for maintaining peak performance. Ms. Fitness declares Verve! Product of the Year for 2009! Read the PDF Review

For more information on energy sports drink varieties that are right for you, look at our detail comparison chart.

James McMullen
Vemma ID: #282135705
Vemma Brand Partner


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